About
Narcissism is an extreme admiration of one’s own physical or mental abilities. Such people are always preoccupied with their self-needs and desires at the expense of others. A definitive amount of healthy narcissism is always acceptable. However, the extreme level of this trait observed in self-absorbed people is dangerous and leads to a kind of mental disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Parents want their children to grow up as good, sober, and responsible citizens. They devote considerable time and effort to ensure that. Parents groom their children to be self-confident in life so that they can face the harsh realities of life.
As a thin line separates friendship and love, rivalry and enmity, similarly a thin line demarcates a self-confident person and a narcissist. A person never realizes when they had crossed over the line and jumped over to the other side. Hence the knowledge of this demarcating line is significant in every person’s life to lead a normal peaceful life.
Self-absorbed people or narcissistic people result in the creation of a toxic society. They not only destroy their lives but also play a significant part in destroying the social fabric of society. Europe is facing this situation to a greater extent.
Examples of a Narcissist
A person believing, that he/she is the most beautiful person and everyone around is always trying to get his/her attention, the person is said to be a narcissist.
A bodybuilder has shaped his body perfectly through hard work. He is self-obsessed with his body in such a way that he starts believing that no other person has a similar and attractive physique, the person is said to be a narcissist.
A computer programmer thinks he is the most capable developer and no one person has the mental ability to match his skills, the person is considered a narcissist. Some people believe that no other person apart from them, can complete a work and it can only be accomplished by them, the person is said to be a narcissist.
Some people believe they are above law and no action can be taken against them. They can get away after committing a grave crime and start considering themselves as a hero, the person is said to be a narcissist.
At the beginning of a relationship, people with narcissistic tendencies express excessive love toward their partners. The partners become overjoyed, thinking that they have the best caring person. Later after a few days, these people criticize every action of their partner to such an extent that the person starts suffering with a sense of guilt.
Narcissist person always considers themselves superior among their associates and considers others as inferior. Such people try to bully others verbally or physically to prove their superiority. These persons require immediate medical attention as they suffer from extreme Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
The Story of Narcissus
An interesting story behind the origination of the term Narcissism. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was the son of the Achelous, the god of rivers, and a beautiful nymph named Lereope. He grew to be a very handsome young man.
He was so handsome that any girl who looked at him fell in love with him. He felt proud of himself and always treated others as inferior and used harsh words for them. Some of the girls even committed suicide after listening to his harsh and inflicting words.
Echo was a beautiful nymph and was very talkative and attracted the attention of every passerby. Once Narcissus went on a hunting expedition with his friends and was lost in the jungle separated from his friends.
Echo was roaming in the jungle, saw Narcissus, and immediately fell in love with him. As she approached to hug him, she was mistreated with harsh words which made her cry and she left the place with a broken heart.
On seeing Echo cry, her friends approached Nemesis, the Greek god of revenge, and asked for her help to teach the proud and dishonouring man a lesson. A few days later Narcissus was roaming in the meadows and he felt thirsty. He got down from his horse and lay on his belly to drink fresh water from a pool.
He saw his reflection in the water of the pool; he thought it to be the god of the pool. He was so impressed by the beauty of reflection that he fell in love with that. He starts talking to the reflected image, but never received any sound from the other end. Narcissus discovers that the object of his love cannot love him back, he slowly dies of despair and Echo’s revenge is completed.
The first poet to mention Narcissism in his poems was a Roman poet named Ovid in a book named Metamorphosis written in the year 8 AD. Narcissism can range from healthy self-esteem to a mental disorder.
Types of Narcissism
Two types of Narcissism are prevalent in society. One is said to be a healthy Narcissism, while the other is the extreme end Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD), a dangerous mental illness.
Healthy Narcissism can be found in children. When a child hates drinking a glass of milk, eventually their mothers insist that by drinking milk, they would become the strongest person in the world. After successfully drinking the glass of milk, the child believes that they had indeed become the strongest person.
Another kind of healthy Narcissism is one, that is associated with a social cause. Let us suppose a person has a very strong ambition to earn an Olympic medal for the country making them too focused and obsessed with their ambition and accordingly working hard to achieve that also falls under this category.
Yet another kind of healthy Narcissism is one that is always controlled. Thinking good and positive about themselves and praising the goals achieved, within the controlled limits is natural and healthy, but getting preoccupied with their personal need and desires at the expense of others leads to Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD). A very thin line exists between controlled Narcissism and NPD.
A knowledgeable person always tries to stay within the boundaries never getting overwhelmed and crossing the line that leads to Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD).
The other end to it is a mental disorder named Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD). Consider a person who has inflated self-importance. They have the perception of being the most important person in this world, and it is due to their effort the world is functioning in its present form.
Alexander the great conqueror had this perception, that he is the greatest king and conqueror of this world. A term used to describe this behavior is that of ‘God Complex’ when a person starts comparing themselves to god. Such persons are overconfident, auto-erotic, inaccessible, self-admiring, and exhibitionistic.
It is observed that extremely narcissistic person lacks self-confidence. They develop such traits to exemplify or over-glorify themselves to overcome this deficiency. These persons do not have the patience to understand the pain and feelings of others, and they lack empathy. They always think they are the best and all others are below their standards.
As an example, narcissistic person does not care and understand the struggles undertaken by their parents for their upbringing. They simply disown them to sustain their ideas. Narcissistic persons are sadist by nature; they feel joyous in giving or seeing others in trouble. For example, a person hits a dog with a stone in such a manner that the dog’s leg is badly injured. The person gets happy in admiring his aim of hitting without feeling the act of his deed.
Another trait of a narcissist person is that they cannot tolerate criticism. They always like to be praised and don’t want to give due importance to others opinions apart from their own. They always think they are correct in their decisions and discard any other proposals received as a solution.
Yet another characteristic of narcissistic people is that they always hurt others’ emotions and try to make them feel inferior. This characteristic always inducts a superiority complex in such individuals, and they tend to feel similar to the god who can do no wrong.
A narcissistic person always creates toxic relations with their partner or friends. Any such person around you must be taken to a psychiatrist for mental treatment as they can turn violent over time.
Reasons of Narcissism
The world is full of such narcissistic persons, and their percentage is ever-increasing around the world. The apparent reasons for a person to acquire narcissistic tendencies are mainly related to the growth of the individual as a child.
If a child receives extra attention and appreciation from their parents overlooking any indecent or illegal acts of the child, the child grows up to possess narcissistic tendencies. For example, parents appreciate their children after the child hits his rival during a quarrel, instead of feeling sorry and apologizing they appreciate this act.
If parents provide extra stress on the child to over-perform more than their capability, the child grows up to possess narcissistic tendencies. Always expecting the child to come first in the class and scolding them for not performing to their potential makes the child nervous and fragile. These children cannot resist any criticism against them at a later stage of their life, and display narcissist tendencies.
Another reason a person grows narcissistic tendencies is when they acquire sudden and unexpected fame and money. For example, someone has created a video and posted it on social media that went viral making them a celebrity overnight. So achieving sudden and unexpected fame also serves as a reason in the modern world.
Another is a hormonal reason where the person displays a burst of uncontrolled anger and always has oppressive behaviour toward others.
Precautionary Measures
There exists a very thin line that demarcates healthy Narcissism and a condition that leads to Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD). Individuals need to be aware of themselves and their behavior towards other to check whether they possess this trait.
Some precautionary measures includes:-
Accepting Failures: Failures are part of life, and the approval that everyone has to face failures in time allows a person to become strong and takes away from narcissistic tendencies.
Tolerating Rejections: Rejections are also part of life; a person should accept that graciously. This makes an individual more gentle and down to earth. Imagining themselves as superheroes and cannot be rejected again leads to narcissistic tendencies.
Respecting other Views: A person must have the ability to listen to other’s opinions and respect their views. Disrespecting others’ thoughts and making fun leads to narcissistic tendencies.
A person suffering from Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD), should immediately be taken to a psychiatrist for mental treatment as such persons can destroy families and are dangerous to societies.
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